Completely agree about graphite, influx, opentsdb. Been there, ran into the same issues.
The best answer is probably AWS Redshift or Cassandra.
Redshift: Postgres but with columnar data store. Thousands of times faster for typical time series...
Cassandra: you got the pros and cons. May be better to use with Spark though...
Before you get data into ...
HP Vertica has a feature called 'flex tables' for processing non-tabular data. You use their json parser to load the files to the flex tables. Then you can keep the data in flex or 'promote' it to a regular table for that sweet structured query speed.
Note that the Vertica community edition is free, up to a terabyte of flex table data, and another terabyte ...
"Hassle free" in your question translates to which operating system has the best combination of official and community support, which in my opinion is clearly Ubuntu.
Stack Overflow questions tagged with hadoop ranked by number of questions
Ubuntu - 1,645 results
CentOS - 428 results
Fedora - 36 results
First of all, the key word you're looking for is "time series database". Here's a snapshot of the popularity of TSDB as of july 2016 according to DB engines ranking :
Secondly you can't have your cake and eat it. If influxDB is simple but does not scale it's because it does not run on a cluster, if openTSDB scale it's because they can run on a cluster. But ...
You can use the Hadoop Eclipse Plug-in:
The Hadoop Eclipse Plug-in provides tools to ease the experience of
Map/Reduce on Hadoop. Among other things, the plug-in provides support
create Mapper, Reducer, Driver classes;
browse and interact with distributed file systems;
submit jobs and monitor their execution.