As moose pointed out in the comments, Table is probably the best thing out there.
After hand-filling a table (note you can import and export tables from numerous other cool, handy formats, including csv, Markdown, markup, Mathematica...), lets:
Add bars and borders
You can also sort things alphanumericaly, and other convenient options are avaible.
It is free and works in Windows 7.
Hey men, that's only half of my requirements
Yep. You may find something that suits all your need, but it seems bad by design to me (and probably to truben.no).
LaTeX is all about semantics, and leaving design annoyances to your stylesheet. Just like I wouldt recommand embedding css glitches in your html code, you should leave the "design" bit in your documents to your stylesheet.
Find a nice stylesheet for scientific research articles that includes one or more cool table-styles, and restrain yourself to these. You may find some "LaTeX-table swiss knife" somewhere, but I truly believe they won't add anything good to your articles.
Note: In the examples you pointed to, I believe many of the tables would have gained in clarity from being split. Huge tables are not cool, really.