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Like many I am not a huge fan of telemarketing. I know there exist applications that automatically reject call from telemarketers based on some blacklists. This is quite convenient but it doesn't go far enough for my taste.

I am looking for Android and iPhone applications to make them waste as much time as possible. The application would - instead of simply rejecting the telemarketer's call - pick up the phone and imitate a human voice, with the goal of confusing or making the telemarketer wait.

For example, the application could:

  • say "Please hold the line, I'll be right back / in two minutes"
  • repeat "Sorry I cannot hear you" with some long pauses between.
  • etc.

Anything creative to make the telemarketer stay longer on the line is good.

Free is better, but I am willing to pay for it. It's ok if the phone needs to be rooted/jailbroken.

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  • 4
    Just connect them to an instance of Eliza.
    – Greg Hewgill
    Aug 17 '14 at 22:47
  • "Excuse me, there's someone at the door" set your phone down beside a radio.
    – Sherwood Botsford
    Mar 14 '15 at 3:18
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    IMO this is a tad evil. Telemarketers are people too and need to make as many calls as possible a day to bring home the butter. Simply politely stating you don't want to be called back and/or blocking the number should be sufficient.
    – Huey
    Apr 14 '15 at 13:14
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    @Huey: Leeches also need to make a living, and they can only do it by sucking your blood, otherwise they starve to death. Unlike telemarketers, who presumably have free will, for leeches it isn't even a choice. I assume if you want to be nice to telemarketers, you also want to be nice to leeches? (Remember, even leeches have mothers).
    – Ira Baxter
    Apr 24 '15 at 3:50
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    Nomorobo is a free black-listing service. It's reduced, but far from eliminated, robocalls. Don't expect telemarketers to be fooled for long, by Eliza... they hang up quickly if they're not making progress.
    – DrMoishe Pippik
    Apr 27 '15 at 2:38
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Hellooo, this is Lenny!

Unfortunately, the original site (www.itslenny.com) is down, but you can find lots of videos, and imitators, on Youtube and elsewhere.

A brief Google search turned up this repo: https://github.com/lgaetz/freepbx-Its_Lenny

This seems like exactly what you want, though perhaps not the most user friendly.

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